The Clinician’s Compass: Balancing Boundaries and Compassion During the Holidays

Written by: Becky Beaton-York, PhD, Founder & Director of The Knowledge Tree

Series Introduction

The holiday season carries a unique rhythm for those of us in the mental health field. As the world leans toward celebration and connection, by virtue of their work, therapists often hold space for grief, stress, nostalgia, and relational tension. This season can often magnify the themes we encounter throughout the year – family systems, identity, loss, hope, trauma – and invite us to pause and reflect on how we show up for our clients and ourselves.

This four-part series, Clinical Reflections for the Season, offers gentle prompts and perspectives designed for clinicians. Each week, we will cover a topic that hopefully invites a moment of professional reflection, a way to steady, renew, and connect meaningfully during a season that often pulls us in many directions, both personally and professionally.

Often beginning in November, as the weather in most areas begins to cool down, something subtle shifts in the therapy room. While the stories and struggles we hear from our clients may be familiar, the lens can change during the holidays. Grief can become sharper. Family dynamics can grow louder. Gratitude sometimes mixes with guilt. Like an autumn breeze, many of us start to feel the shift in the air before our clients even bring it up.

And somewhere in that mix, we, as clinicians, often feel the pull to do more. Maybe we answer a message after hours, extend a session by ten minutes, or tell ourselves we can skip that lunch break because it’s a hard time for people. Like most of the work we do, it comes from a place of great compassion. But unchecked, that instinct can start to stretch us thin as professionals, just when our steadiness matters most.

The season can magnify our empathy and our exhaustion at the same time. We see clients bracing for family visits, sitting in grief over who’s missing, or navigating complex emotional terrain. It’s easy to lean in a little closer. Yet the quiet truth is that the more we overextend, the less capacity we have to offer genuine presence.

We sometimes think of boundaries as walls, but in practice, they’re more like the frame that keeps compassion both steady and structured. Clear time limits, communication norms, even the way we handle scheduling – all of it creates predictability and safety, while managing a client’s expectations. When clients know what to expect, they can relax into the work. And when we know our own limits, we can better support our clients.

Many clinicians find it useful to pause before the holidays and ask:

• Where do I tend to over-extend or say yes when I’m already tired?
• What does compassionate care with boundaries look like for me?
• How can I communicate limits clearly without apologizing for them?

Little rituals help anchor that balance. A few that often come up in consultation groups include resetting between sessions, checking your emotional barometer, and being transparent about schedules early. These small actions keep the bigger picture steady.

As the year winds down, there’s value in slowing your pace just enough to take stock. Ask yourself what you need to feel grounded and helpful, but not heroic. Remind yourself that rest is not the opposite of dedication; it’s what allows it to last.

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